


The curse of the Bahamas Witch

by xletsreadx



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: After procrastinating (see my attempt on a multichaptered fic) tagging is my greatest weakness, Dan's POV, In honour of the bahamas meme, Little reminder of 'make a wish-phandom gives', Magic, Multilingual Character, supportive boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 05:37:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13404570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xletsreadx/pseuds/xletsreadx
Summary: Dan and Phil come back from an intentional trip to the Bahamas. Dan is late for the flight and says bad words in front of an old lady and her grandson. She teaches him a lesson in an unusual way.Seen this already? I mean probably all of you stalk Phil's twitter anyway but just a little reminder :)https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/phandomgives-phil31





	The curse of the Bahamas Witch

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :)  
> 1) I don't want to offend any native speakers. Please tell me if you find any mistakes! My Russian and Italien are underdeveloped and my Spanish hasn't been used in ages.  
> 2) Already checked this out? https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/phandomgives-phil31  
> 3) If you have read this far I already love you! Please enjoy the actual story now! Have a good one!

Why am I like this? "Dan what are doing? We are late!" "Oh god Phil I'm coming ok?!" I shouted back while throwing everything I could get a hold of in my suitcase. I took a quick glance under the bed before I ran out of the hotelroom to join Phil and an old Lady with her grandchild in the elevator. "I'm here. Everything's under control. We are not going to miss this m*****f****** plane." I said breathing heavily. Phil gave me a slightly annoyed look. "If you started packing your suitcase more that 20min before our taxi arrived we wouldn't be in rush everytime we travel. And Dan, please don't swear in front of a child." He motioned to his left with his head. I looked around and saw an old native woman wearing a colouful dress and a little boy with big brown eyes starring at me. "I'm sorry." I muttered and dropped my gace on the floor. A few awkward seconds later the elevator doors opened again. I wanted to jump out and literally run away from the judging grandma and to the taxi but my suitcase somehow got stuck at the door. Not expecting this kind of resisdence from my luggage I lost my balance and landed straight on my butt. "Jesus on a freaking unicycle!" I yelped. Phil immediatly came to help me. "Watch your language, Dan. The old lady is observing you." Phil wispered and helped me up. "Not my fault that this stupid suitcase is attacking me." I said rubbing my hurting backside. "You should listen to your friend, my dear. Language is a powerful tool that must be employed wisely." A chracking voice said. I turned around to see the old woman standing behind us. I wanted to defend my choice of words and maybe apologize but she already left with a creepily gentle smile on her face. I opened my mouth but Phil grabbed my arm and dragged me outside. "We don't have time for this. Hurry up, Dan!" And so we left the hotel.

~~~taxi drive wrumm wrumm~~~

Two hours later I sank into my comfy seat on the plan right next to Phil. Reliefed that my procrastinating hadn't caused us to spend another day on the Bahamas, I drifted of into a deep sleep with adventurous dreams where I was being chased by a gray dragon who wanted to eat me and Phil build a house of dictionaries to protect us. My weird dream ended when Phil woke me up by shaking my shoulder. "We're back in London, sleepy head." He smilded at me. "Ah, bon? Du coup j'ai dormi comme un bébé pendant 8 houres? C'est bizarre, hein." Phil raised his eyebrows. "Yes it was like sitting next to a life-sized Dan puppet or a corpse but why are you speaking french? Did you dream you were a croissant?" I chuckeled. Phil trying to prank people (mainly me) was so cringy it was almost entertaining. "Französisch, Phil? Ernsthaft? Du hattest acht Stunden Zeit, dir etwas Lustiges zu überlegen und das kam dabei heraus? Ich bin enttäuscht." I laughed and collected my stuff. I got up from my seat and heated to the exit. Phil stayed behind with a confused look on his face so I turned around and said: "¡Venga! Tengo hambre. Buscamos nuestro equipaje y vamos a casa." Phil followed me outside and to the baggage claim without saying a single word. I cought him staring at me though so I turned to him. "Che c'é?" "Dan... it's not funny anymore. I'm quite impressed by the skills behind your "woke-up-and-could-no-longer-speak-english" joke but you can stop now. Unlike you I didn't get much sleep and I want to go home." I furrowed by brows in confusion. "Was?" "Dan, I'm serious!" "Bah moi aussi! De quoi tu parles, Phil? C'est toi qui fais des bêtises là!" Phil starred at me for a few seconds. We were standing in the middle of the airport surrounded by hundreds of people. "Ok, if you insist." He got out his phone and helt it unter my nose. "Say something." "Я говорю по-англиский, Фил." Phil smiled and turned his phone so I could see that it was the recording from what I'd just said before hitting the play button. All I could hear were the background noices from the airport and my voice. My voice saying some weird s*** I hadn't said. Where these even words? I grabbed Phil's phone and checked it but it was just a normal audio recording, no voice changing app or something. I played it again. And again. I felt the panic spreading in my chest as I looked from Phil to the recording and back. "Phil, qué pasa? Es una broma? Dime que es una broma!" I grabbed his shoulder and shook him. "Dan, calm down. I don't understand you. You switched languages again!" I froze and my mouth opened ready to scream and get a full panic attack. What the hell was happening? Luckily, precious Phil understood what was happening. He knew me well enough and pulled me into a warm hug. "Calm down, bear. Breath. In and out. In and out. Just like that. You're doing great. Listen, we get our suitcases now, jump in a taxi and go home. There we use google translate and search for a solution. Ok?" He loosened the hug to see my reaction as he wouldn't understand my answer. I nodded and earned a reassuring smile from my boyfriend who took my hand and quickly lead me to the baggage claim.

~~~taxi driving 2 wrumm wrumm~~~

"There was a case of an Australian man who woke up from a coma and suddenly spoke fluent Mandarin while struggling with English. He had studied Mandarin before but never got a hold of it. That would explain why your longest sentences were in german and french as you have learned it at school." Phil looked up from his laptop to see my reaction. I turned my own laptop around so Phil could read my answer. "Firstly, it doesn't explain why I spoke Spanish or Russian and secondly I wasn't involved in an accident." "Hmm you are right. Maybe we should go to the doctors tomorrow." Phil looked at me with a worried face and I just nodded. We closed our laptops. "Ich will kuscheln." I said and gave Phil a pleading look. "I know that this is german and that you said 'I want' but I have no idea WHAT you want, Da.. ahh" Phil couldn't finish his sentence before I tackled him and slung my long limbs around him. "Learning new words in german was never more pleasant." Phil chuckled and I smiled in the crook of his neck. With my Philly by my side I'd escape this multilingual nightmare. "You know what, Dan?" Phil said looking at the ceiling before smiling cheekily. "Since your transformation into a 'Danslator' you haven't used a single swear word. The old lady would be proud." My eyes widened and I froze. "Esa abuela en el hotel! Es una bruja! Me dijo que tenía que tener cuidado con lo que digo. Phil, una bruja!!" I jumped up and ran around repeating my words. "Dan, Dan! Come here, calm down and type on your phone what just made you go crazy, please." Who got time for typing? I had been cursed by a witch!! But Phil was anything but Sherlock Holmes so I had to write it down for him as he couldn't understand whatever language I was speaking at the moment. Phil slightly tilted his head and furrowed his brows. "A witch? Don't you think you are overreacting... a little bit maybe? I mean your condition may be explained medically... somehow. But a Bahamas witch cursing people for using bad words?" I glared at him and he sighted. "Alright. We will investigate this BUT FIRST we go to the doctor's tomorrow morning and if they really can't help you we'll search a witch hunter or something. Can we go to bed now, bear? I'm so tired." I frowned but I took Phil's outstretched hand anyway and after brushing our teeth and putting on our pyjamas we went to bed. "Non imprecherò mai più. Mi dispiace..." I wispered to myself, tears in my eyes, curling up against my sleeping boyfriend.

~~~sleeping... suddenly - PINEAPPLES! No I'm kidding it's just the alarm clock...~~~

"Ugh Phil turn it off, please!" I had no intention to leave my cosy little nest to face the nightmare of unpredictable multilinguism. Phil's hand was already reaching out for his phone when he suddenly stopped and turned around in one quick bouncy movement that almost made me fall out of bed. "Repeat that!" He demanded exitedly. My brain was still somewhere between reality and the world of dreams so I didn't get what he meant nor why he was so exited all of the sudden. "What? Why should I..." Wait a minute. Phil's smile grew bigger and bigger with every word I spoke. "Do you... you understand me?" Phil nodded and at that moment I could not hold back. Tears were streaming down my face when I tackled Phil and squeezed the air out of his lungs with my tight hug. "Oh my god my beautiful posh winnie the pooh english is back!!! Fuuuuu...aaa... fantastic!" Phil laughed and hugged me back. "Yes! But what a shame that it happened so soon. It could have been a great video with even more conspiracy theories than after your first trip to the Bahamas. Like 'How did Dan become fluent in Russian, Italien and Spanish at the Bahamas? What is it with Dan and the Bahamas??" He laughed and I just starred at him. Phil was right. My greety viewers would have deserved another mystery driving them mad. I missed a great and unique opportunity. "F***"


End file.
